There have been several stories of late involving the new frontier. A man donned a space suite and ascended to the brink of space in a souped up balloon, then parachuted back to Earth. The mere thought puts my vertigo into hyper-drive. I constantly tell my husband, "If you ever want to get rid of me and have it look natural. put me on a roller-coaster. I'll be dead from a heart attack with-in the first two minutes, maybe less."
My home is an inter-active model of Space. There is a debris field floating around waiting to smack you in the face and aliens who have taken over the bodies of my cats and dogs so they can observe a "normal" Earth family. Then, there's the Black Hole. I can't see it, black holes are invisible but I know it's there. In the last year I have had two sets of truck keys disappear. You say, "Don't you mean lost?" No, vanished, gone, vaporized... I have torn my house apart by putting things away and recycling countless pounds of paper. No keys. I emptied the black hole that is my purse, no keys. I know they should be there, I had to have them in order to drive home. I have looked under furniture, in pockets on the ground. No keys.
Other items have gone missing in the past. A couple of years ago a can of varnish vanished without a trace. The aliens must have finished with it because I found it years later in a flower bed. I had no idea that space aliens had teeth that left dents like a canine. Wait, I said the aliens had taken over my dogs and cats, so that explains the teeth marks.
I keep waiting for the black hole to spit back my keys. I had to have a new key made so I would have wheels. A new key with micro-chip, without an existing key to program from is painfully expensive. If I didn't need wheels now, I would have waited for a cheaper solution, going on an inter-galactic space hunt.
Until next time, keep your keys close and your eyes telescoped on your cats and dogs, they are out there watching our every move.
My home is an inter-active model of Space. There is a debris field floating around waiting to smack you in the face and aliens who have taken over the bodies of my cats and dogs so they can observe a "normal" Earth family. Then, there's the Black Hole. I can't see it, black holes are invisible but I know it's there. In the last year I have had two sets of truck keys disappear. You say, "Don't you mean lost?" No, vanished, gone, vaporized... I have torn my house apart by putting things away and recycling countless pounds of paper. No keys. I emptied the black hole that is my purse, no keys. I know they should be there, I had to have them in order to drive home. I have looked under furniture, in pockets on the ground. No keys.
Other items have gone missing in the past. A couple of years ago a can of varnish vanished without a trace. The aliens must have finished with it because I found it years later in a flower bed. I had no idea that space aliens had teeth that left dents like a canine. Wait, I said the aliens had taken over my dogs and cats, so that explains the teeth marks.
I keep waiting for the black hole to spit back my keys. I had to have a new key made so I would have wheels. A new key with micro-chip, without an existing key to program from is painfully expensive. If I didn't need wheels now, I would have waited for a cheaper solution, going on an inter-galactic space hunt.
Until next time, keep your keys close and your eyes telescoped on your cats and dogs, they are out there watching our every move.
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