On The ? Edge of Medicine

I've been away taking care of family but I'm back.  Did you miss me?  Of course you did.

When contemplating what to write about this week I originally thought of marijuana.  It made the news in two spots in the past couple of weeks.  There was a story about the drug smuggler who made a cannon that shot bundles of weed over the Mexican/USA boarder where it was picked up by his associates.  There was also a story about a woman who received a package of marijuana by mistake.  She was suing the delivery service because the intended recipients came looking for it after the delivery driver told them where he had left it.  They showed up on her doorstep demanding their property.  But a better story was dumped on me instead.

I was talking to a friend in the health care field when she mentioned having to attend a meeting on  Fecal Transplants.  That's right, fecal not facial.  She said it wasn't the way she liked starting her day.
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I won't describe what I imagined a fecal transplant entailed.  I'll simply tell you what it is.

Fecal transplants also known as  Fecal Microbiota Transplantationare (FMT) is done on people with serious imbalances in their intestinal tract.  Colitis and IBS are just two of these conditions. Some sufferer's  have found relief using this type of treatment.

There are only a few facilities around the world that offer this treatment.  In Portland, Oregon you and your donor can spend two weeks on a retreat while the treatment is performed and the recipients learns how to better cope with their condition.  The clinic will provide the donor from their donor bank or you can bring your own.  Family members are recommended.

What is a Fecal Transplant and how is it performed?  The donor is tested for any and all diseases and illnesses.  Once a donor has been cleared, the fical matter is collected.  It goes through a process to remove the bacteria from the sample.  The bacteria is then tested to make sure it is free from any contaminants.  Once cleared, the bacteria is mixed with a sterile medium that is introduced to the recipient via colonoscapy or enema.  That's it. 

Until next time watch where you step, it might just be your next treatment sample.

 

An Eye Popper

A mistrial was declared in Philadelphia after an eye popping moment during a trial.  John Huttick was suing Matthew Brunelli for the loss of his eye during a fight. Huttick tried to break-up a brawl between Brunelli and another bar patron when Huttick says Brunelli stabbed him in the eye with a key protruding between his fingers.  In the middle of Huttick's testimony, his glass eye popped out of its socket.  Huttick quickly caught the wayward prosthetic as two jurors rose in horror.  The judge said it was an unfortunate incident, declared a mistrial and re-scheduled the trail for March.

After reading this story I remembered stories I heard about the actor Peter Falk.  He lost one of his eyes due to cancer at age three.  As a young man he would cause a stir by secretly taking his glass eye out and sneaking it into someones drink.  They would lift their glass and find an eye staring at them.  Talk about an eye-stopper.

Back in the early to mid eighties, there was a TV show, Tales of the Gold Monkey.  The series took place in the thirties on a Pacific Island.  The main character, Jake, had a one-eyed Jack Russell named, Jack.  How does this relate to the Huttick story you ask.  There was a running joke, in every episode Jack would lose his false eye or have it taken, then find it before the end of the show.  Jack's prosthetic eye wasn't just an ordinary glass copy, it was an opal with a sapphire center.

There are lots of people and animals that appear to have eyes that pop out of their heads.  The comedian, Marty Feldman, had the biggest eyes I ever saw.  I have a puppet named Marty because his eyes pop out.  Gene Wilder has eyes that can appear to pop.  In the animal world Pugs have eyes that pop out, in some cases, literally pop out of their heads.  Can you imagine, watching your beloved Pug pop his eyes out after being frightened.  I guess Jack could have been played by a Pug instead of a Jack Russell.  Nah, that would be type casting.

There are members of the ape family that have huge eyes that seem to pop out at you.  Their eyes take up most of their face.   I can close my eyes and see one,  I just can't think of the name, it's on the tip of my eye-lash, let me loosen it by blinking a few times.  Sorry, it simply won't come to me.

There are many sayings that include the image of popping eyes.  A man looks at a woman and his wife responds, "Put your eyes back in your head.", while others describe someone as having their  eyes bugged out.  

Until next time, keep your eyes firmly in your head or you may lose your way.

 

Ooo-Ahhh

Do you know what an Ooo-Ahhh bird is?
It's a one ounce bird that lays a two ounce egg and goes, ooo-ahhh.

At Sea World in California, a 37 year old Orca gave birth to a 300-350 pound baby.  Talk about a whopper!  The Orca was in labor a mere hour before popping out the calf.  An hour to expel a 300 pound plus baby sounded good to me, after all, it took me over fourteen hours to push out a 9 pound girl.

The next time you find yourself sitting with a group of moms or in the cabbage patch with the storks, listen to their birthing stories.  It will soon become apparent that no two stories are the same. 
And stories about the same experience differs from husband to wife.  If you ask me about mine I'd tell you it was a piece of cake.  I opted for the epidural but still no screams were heard emitting from my room. 
At least that is how I remember it.  If you ask my husband about the same 14-15 hours you will hear a description that swings 180 degrees faster than a Bi-polar person off their meds.  We all know of course whose version is true.

In the animal kingdom, pandas and kangaroos probably have the easiest birthing experience.  The babes are the size of a large peanut when they emerge from their mother's womb.  They have incredible strength.  After emerging from the birth canal they must climb all the way up into their mother's pouch where they will finish developing.  In a perfect world human babies would start out this way only the pouch would be like the seahorse, on the father, not the mother.  I remember a tv show my husband watched about aliens living with us humans.  There was an episode where a pregnant alien took her fetus out of her body and implanted it into her husband giving them both a chance to carry the unborn child.  I didn't see the episode where the father gave birth, so I have no idea how the birth took place.

 A few years back there was the story of a man who gave birth. He and his wife were on Dr. Phil.  The man had started life as a woman, gone through a sex change operation except for removing her/his reproductive system and then been artificially inseminated.  To date he has given birth to three children.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

The idea of men giving birth isn't new.  Years before the pregnant man on Dr. Phil, The Cosby Show did an episode where all the Huxtable men were pregnant and in labor.  It was all a dream.  The dialog was priceless.  Calls for more pain meds were heard along side a discussion musing over where they as, men would push the baby out of their bodies.  I remember laughing my head off and I wasn't even a mom yet.

Well, until next time, remember to wear your sneakers when you walk through the cabbage patch looking for a stork.

 

Hey Mom, What's For Dinner?

"Hey Mom/Honey, what's for dinner?"
If you have kids or a husband you are familiar with the question,

Here in the good old USA more than likely the answer is beef, chicken or pork.  In small villages in Africa one of the dietary staples is Mopane worms.  After the rains cease women and children go out to the Mopane trees and pluck off the caterpillars of the Emperor Moth.  They are as long as the human hand and as thick as a Cuban cigar.  The worms are spread out and sun-dried before being fried or added to recipes.  In the villages the Mopane Caterpillar is to the villager's as the Big Mac is to Americans.  In larger urban areas, they are as much a delicacy as Russian Caviar. 

Eating insects is not a new idea.  Many cultures have a variety of insects or local delicacies that are unique.  If you watch Survivor there is usually one challenge involving the digestion of local fare, the grosser, the better.  We have all seen our imprisoned hero survive on the creepy-crawlies that run across his cell.

The art of bug cuisine is catching on in the US.  There are over 23 restaurants splattered across the landscape that feature a variety of bugs, cooked in a variety of ways.  You can order your crickettes fried or covered in chocolate.  A lime flavored scorpion pop. 

As a food source, insects have more protein than traditional meats while producing ten times less methane and nitros oxide than livestock, making them healthier for the environment.

Don't know how to cook bugs let alone know where to purchase them?  Amazon has cookbooks on the fine art of preparing bugs.  Creepy Crawly Cuisine and The Gourmet Guide to Edible Insects name few.  Teachers looking for a way to introduce their students to the world of insect cuisine can go to one of the many web-sites that sell a variety of tasty treats for kids to try.  Cheddar Cheese Larvets,  a variety of fruit flavored scorpion pops and chocolate covered, fried crickettes.  All insects are raised for the purpose of eating, which I'm sure will make their parents feel better. 

That's all for now, until next time, when you see a creepy crawly don't say, "Oh, gross," and squish it.  Say, "Yum, a few more and I'll have dinner."

Happy Valentines Day From The Big Apple

Once again romance is in the air hovering over The Big Apple.  While couples and loved ones spend oodles of money on flowers, peach roses are my personal favorite, gourmet dinners by candle light and over-sized boxes of chocolates,  a few lucky New Yorkers will be touring the sewage treatment plant in Brooklyn's Greenpoint section.

Last year the Department of Environmental Protection opened the plant for one tour on Valentines Day.  It was so popular they decided to offer it again this year, expanding the tour groups from one to three.  During last years tour, the energetic plant supervisor announced that the digestive egg was going to show off how it worked.  The egg then gave the group a hearty belch emitting a very foul odor.

I don't know about you, but I would much prefer a tour of a rose garden, a bakery or even a firehouse to a sewage treatment plant.  Yes, they are very necessary but like bare bottoms, I don't really need to see them.  Well, there might be a few bare buttocks I wouldn't mind looking at, we just won't mention whose.

Tomorrow night I will be dinning out with my Valentine.  I expect I'll see a bouquet of roses and a silly card while I eat a piece of the candy I bought myself.  Until next time, remember, you don't have to wait for Valentines Day to show and tell your loved ones you care.


 

You Be The Judge

Here's a good subject for the reality show, What Would You Do?. 

Imagine you and your spouse are eating at a restaurant.  A few tables over a family with two small girls sits down.  Everything is going well when you notice the family's two year old slip off her chair, unhook her overalls, pull down her panties and sit on a training potty the mother pulls out.

This is a true story I heard on one of the many court shows now airing on morning TV.  Now you're thinking either the parents are suing the restaurant for throwing them out or another couple is suing the parents for bringing a toilet into the dining area.  Wrong.  Here's a twist as curvy as corkscrew pasta: The parents were suing another patron for taking pictures of their daughter doing her "business" and posting them on the Internet via her blog.  They claimed the woman not only showed their child's face, she included her name and the family's address, prompting scores of harassing e-mails, phone calls and rude remarks in public.  The father feared that they would be forced to move to end the harassment.

The patron was counter-suing saying it was her right to free speech, that the picture was taken in a public place.

If you were the judge, who would you side with.  The parents who claimed they brought the potty to avoid an accident on the way to the restroom or the woman who took the child's picture and plastered it all over the Internet.

Here's what the wise judge said , in this day and age of high tech gadgets and loose values, the parents should not have put their child in that vulnerable position.  The patron who took the picture was with-in her right to take the picture being it was out in a public place.  Now here's the corkscrew the judge threw in, the judge sided with the parents because the woman not only used poor judgement in not blurring the child's face, but added her name and address.  It was also revealed that this woman got many additional hits on her blog after posting the picture earning her more money.  It was because the woman made money from exploiting a child, and posting a picture of a child without the parents permission that the judge sided with them.  I think if the patron with the smart phone had not made money off the picture  or had protected the child's identity, the judge would have sided against the parents for exposing their child in this very public way. 

The one issue that was skimmed over was the health risk.  Bathrooms are placed away from the dining area and kitchens in most restaurants with double doors to prevent the spread of germs.  These parents not only put their young child in a compromising position, they placed themselves and all the diners at risk also.  Now that I think about it, I don't remember any mention of how the child wiped herself or on what.  And what do you do with toilet paper at table side.

So, who did you side with? 

Until next time, always be on your best behavior, you never know when a smart phone aimed by a smart _ss is going to take your picture.

Fork Lift

There's a new fork in town.  For years we have all heard how eating slower is healthier. The longer we chew, the smaller the food becomes and the more saliva gets mixed in to help in digestion.  Chewing and eating slowly gives your stomach time to catch up to your eyes and if dining at a posh restaurant you won't be put on the "Don't let him in list, he gulps his food".

The new fork is programed to tell you when you are eating too fast.  It signals you to slow down.  Weight Watcher's has told its' members for years to eat slowly  because it takes twenty minutes for your stomach to tell your brain it's full.  Instead of a fork telling you to stop eating perhaps we need to implant IM from our brains to our stomachs.  We could then stop short of filling up on meat and veggies and save room for dessert without over-stuffing ourselves.  By the way, this fork is dishwasher safe as long as you remember to remove the mechanical part.  Until next time, always eat dessert first so you will never run out of room.